Hungary Hungary Hamilton

RACE TRACK: Back To The Start - Razorlight

We'll start with the start today (chronological order, who'd have thought?), because there we witnessed quite the display of senility from a certain Mr Schumacher. Here's a view of the first attempted race start from fans in the grandstand:

So all 24 cars had set off on their warm-up lap at the Hungaroring and all the drivers were taking up their starting positions, ready for lights out. Except Michael Schumacher. He qualified a dismal 17th, but he must've been feeling self-deprecating as he pulled up in the 19th slot on the grid. Now I'm sure it must be difficult, when all the grid slots look the same and you've got a million things to think about in the cockpit of your F1 car... but surely you'd see that inviting, empty space right in front of you? But no, Michael was happy with 19th apparently and awaited the 5 red lights like the rest of the field. At this point, one can assume that poor Narain Karthikeyan was meandering about in no man's land, looking for a 25th grid slot to park his HRT. So with the back few rows all out of position, Charlie Whiting initiated a second warm-up lap, with flashing yellow lights on the gantry.

Now this is a pretty rare circumstance, so a few drivers were understandably confused by the proceedings - you can see from the video that several of the less experienced drivers were hesitant when setting off for the second time. But for some bizarre reason, the seven-time world champion got himself even more confused and promptly switched off his engine. Right, that makes sense. See an empty grid slot in front of you? Never mind that. See all cars in front of you driving off slowly? Turn off the engine, obviously. I might sound a bit harsh here, but you'd expect this sort of cock-up perhaps from an inattentive rookie, but not the most experienced driver on the grid!

And as if his race couldn't get any worse, when the Mercedes crew raced down the grid to push Schumacher's stricken car into the pitlane (hopefully in time for the proper start of the race), he reportedly picked up a puncture on a drain. So despite trying his very best to bugger up his race by leaving his brain at home, a healthy dose of bad luck was there to kick him when he was down. Strange, strange start to a race.

Now I have to say, it wasn't the most fascinating of races. The Hungaroring is never an easy place to overtake, but it seemed like all the position changes took place thanks to pit stops, rather than out on track. Although there was an inbetweeny moment between the Lotus drivers, when Grosjean was heading into the first corner as Raikkonen exited the pits.

This was on lap 46, and whichever Lotus driver came out in front would likely be the only challenger to the leader, Hamilton. Romain might have had his tyres up to temperature, but Kimi had the inside line. It's always stressful when two drivers you like/support/are emotionally invested in get that close to each other on track, but sensible driving from the pair of them meant that the gentle nudge merely pushed Grosjean wide and didn't cause either car any damage. I'll be honest: I would have been DELIGHTED if it was the happy giraffe scampering after Hamilton, but Kimi earned that strong second place and it was great to see both the Lotus guys on the podium - the delicious bread of a rather unsavoury sandwich. Romain was, of course, predictably miserable at having lost out on second - or possibly first - place:

Seriously. This was his face when he was explaining that he was "not such happy" and "not happy at all" with finishing third after fighting for the win for the most part of the race. Not such happy?!

Elsewhere on the circuit, Sebastian Vettel had apparently become bored of being a racing driver. Lapping behind Jenson Button, Vettel radioed his race engineer saying, "I can go much faster than him, so do something." Erm, I think the doing of things is meant to be down to you? I'm sure it was only said in the frustration of the moment, but it did cause a fair few raised eyebrows where I was watching, at F1 In Pubs. I'm not one of the people that insist Seb can't overtake, but comments like that will not help eliminate that opinion of him. Dear me, Seb and Jenson just can't seem to keep away from each other these past few races...

Cute cute cute. Gratuitous Sebson because boring race was boring. 

Aside from gratuitous, borderline-irrelevant pictures, what else is a regular feature of this blog? OH YES, defiantly defending Pastor! This week's 'victim' was Paul di Resta. In my view, this was a similar 'incident' (if you can call it that) to the Lotus drivers duelling at Turn 1. One driver had the inside line into the corner (Raikkonen and Maldonado), whilst the other was pushed wide (Grosjean and di Resta). The only difference I can see is that Pastor and Paul (that sounds like a really dire TV programme) made contact very slightly, where the Lotus cars did not. The end result in both circumstances was identical: no damage to either car and both still close together on track, with the possibility of swapping positions. And yet, poor Pastor Maldonado received a drive-through penalty for the 'collision' that barely even happened, ruining his race and any chance he had of a point or two. I know I defend him every race weekend, but sometimes I can see sense in punishing him (Valencia, for example). This week, however, I completely disagree. I've said before that I believe the main point of a penalty is to make the suffering equitable for both drivers involved. So if you give someone a puncture and carry on unhindered, you deserve a penalty to punish you in the same way that the other driver was. But Paul didn't suffer at all. He was slow at the time and was inevitably going to be overtaken by a car or two. Yes, Pastor nudged him ever so slightly during his overtaking manoeuvre, but no damage was done! I think if the stewards want to set a precedent for dishing out a penalty every time that F1 cars touch each other, despite no damage being caused, then they're going to end up awfully busy. Romain speaks sense on this sort of subject: despite being very unhappy with losing his position to Kimi, he refers to their coming together as "racing". And that's what we love! So I really hope that Pastor's 'previous' with the stewards isn't having an impact on some of their decisions, because I think, in this case certainly, a penalty was completely unnecessary.

As for the other Williams, Bruno Senna had a belter of a race! He got his race weekend off to a great start by qualifying ninth, ahead of both Mercedes, both Force Indias and even Mark Webber. Bruno was then feisty for the entire duration of the Grand Prix and finished in a great seventh place, only a couple of seconds behind Jenson Button. He might not have spent as long at the very front of the field this year as his teammate, but Bruno Senna has shown some great driving ability and delivered good, consistent finishes. I know it's Pastor that I'm usually raving about, but I really rate Bruno as well. Just as it annoys me that people seem to pick on certain drivers for bringing money to their team (erm, they all do), it infuriates me that people claim Bruno is only in F1 because of his name, and that he's 'not as good as Ayrton'. Why should he have to be compared to his uncle? You can't expect that of him. You wouldn't expect Ralf to be the same as Michael, or Nico to be the same as Keke. I think Senna's performance at the Hungarian Grand Prix has shut a few people up on that subject, so I hope to see him at the front of the grid again in the second half of the season - is a podium too much to hope for? I hope not.

Gratuitous naked time because... because Bruno Senna.

Aaaaaanyway, that's enough ranting and rambling. Having been welcomed into the Fan Formula family, I spouted even more gibberish on the Hungarian Grand Prix on YouTube, so you can see my 'Hungaroboring' video here and the neatly edited group opinions video here. I also had the huge pleasure once more of watching the GP with the delightfully mad Tiff and David at the Après bar in Birmingham, as well as plenty of other F1 fans there for F1 In Pubs. I thoroughly recommend it if you can find a venue near to you, as it is bloody brilliant.

And I think that's it from me. I hope you all enjoy/survive the F1 summer break, and of course I'll still be tweeting away despite no F1 action at @F1_Obsessive. I shall leave you with the greatest picture to emerge from this race weekend, or possibly EVER: a member of the Lotus team completely trolling and ruining the McLaren celebratory team photo.

 All the awards, Lotus. Amazing. Right, I'm off, see you in Spa!

Dodging Debris In Deutschland

RACE TRACK: Radio Gaga - Queen

There were certainly some interesting broadcasts on the team radio during this race... Highlights were from the McLaren boys this time, with Lewis' rather pessimistic suggestion that they retire the car, and Jenson's sarcastic, indirect message to Charlie Whiting regarding Sebastian Vettel's questionable overtake.

But it was Felipe Massa who kicked it all off in Hockenheim, parting company with his front wing on the first lap.

Perhaps he was just missing Rob already. But anyway, the debris from this incident (that we never really saw) was littering the track but the FIA decided, hey, don't worry about it, and the race continued. Victims of the bits and bobs of prancing horse other than Felipe himself included Bruno Senna, Romain Grosjean and, the nation's sweetheart, Lewis Hamilton. All four of these drivers ended up trundling about with the backmarkers, having been forced to pit for various repairs. Seeing him towards the back of the field, the delightful Massa conspiracy theorists piped up once more, but I'd like to point out that he finished the race in 12th. Now although this isn't a points finish, Felipe actually did brilliantly to work his way through the field. As for the other three, the best they could muster was 17th, 18th and a DNF. So actually, despite some trials and tribulations, a nice fight back from Massa. Celebratory smack on the arse for you, Felipe baby. (You go Felipe baby.)

And now onto Lewis Hamilton race which, for the most part, was rather amusing - for his fans as well as his sceptics. So after picking up a puncture from the debris, Hamilton ended up a lap down on the front runners. In a rather out of character moment, he radioed to the McLaren pit wall saying he felt they "should retire the car" after only 2 racing laps - a strange message, somewhat reminiscent of Fernando Alonso's (in)famous "I give up, I give up" during last year's Korean Grand Prix. But the McLaren boys must have insisted that Lewis earn some of his millions for a few more laps, because he carried on until lap 56 before parking up in the garage. But before then, Hamilton was confusing the rest of the grid left, right and centre. Poor Vitaly Petrov apparently accidentally let Hamilton past, assuming that, having seen a McLaren in his mirrors, he must be being lapped rather than racing for position. Then, further up the road, perhaps forgetting that he was racing for about 20th position rather than 2nd, Lewis began to duel with the leaders - much to their annoyance.

Seb has been known for some... unfriendly hand gestures towards back markers, but this time I think it was pretty justified. And not just because it's Notorious H.A.M. Of course, everybody has a right to unlap themselves if they have the speed, otherwise they'd never get anywhere. But I think in this situation, Hamilton didn't have enough speed to unlap and then pull sufficiently away, out of the blue flag zone. In reality, Hamilton swooped past Vettel and promptly loitered about right in front of him, instantly inviting the blue flags (and the hand gestures) yet again. Was he genuinely thinking he could begin hunting down those in front while staying on the lead lap? Or had he had a mental abberation and was reverting back to fighting with his more usual company? I could suggest that he was part of a McLaren strategy to hold up Vettel and allow Jenson Button to catch up, but putting his teammate above himself would be even further out of character for Lewis. In this instance, I'd put it down to a bit of trolling - and I'm not complaining really, it probably did inadvertently help Button to chase down Vettel and it was certainly a laugh, but I'm quite surprised the stewards didn't have a quiet word with him about the concept of blue flags. Maybe he should have asked Kimi.

But now from Vettel the victim to Vettel the villain! Having just made it out in front of Seb after a round of pit stops, Jenson was happily cruising about in 2nd place (a dizzyingly high position given some of his performances lately), until a badly flat-spotted tyre sent him back into Vettel's clutches. But instead of having a little patience (he is an F1 driver, after all), Sebastian rather cocked up his attempted overtake, and gained second place with all four wheels completely off the circuit.

It's difficult to form a coherent opinion when the FIA have zero consistency, but the go-to argument is that the white lines define the circuit. Article 20.2 of the FIA sporting regulations (look at me, coming over all technical, like) states that "drivers must use the track at all times. For the avoidance of doubt, the white lines defining the track edges are considered to be part of the track, but the kerbs are not." Well Vettel wasn't even on the kerb, he was completely on the run-off area when he pulled in front of Button. I admit that Sebastian would easily have gotten past Jenson before the end of the race, but this overtake was completely illegal. And I think both drivers knew it; Jenson's sarcastic radio message and Seb's rather awkward demeanour on the podium were clear signs of this.

And the stewards eventually worked all this out after the race (better late than never) and issued Vettel a 20 second time penalty. This promoted Button to 2nd, Raikkonen to 3rd (ideal situation for Kimi: all the points of a podium finish without the tedious interview) and Kamui Kobayashi to an excellent 4th place finish for Sauber.

This race result was what Jenson Button really needed. Being back on the podium, getting some good points and showing he can still race. After so many dismal races with only a tiny smattering of points, Button really impressed this weekend, showing us plenty of badass overtaking moves that reminded us of the fast and feisty Jenson we know and love.

In other somewhat positive McFail McLaren news: it seems they finally got their act together and set an all-time record pit stop (stationary) time of 2.31 seconds. Blink and you'll miss it...

This is, of course, ridiculously impressive, but I really hope McLaren don't think their work here is done. A one-off, blisteringly quick pit stop doesn't make up for all the previous bumbling efforts of 2012 so far - I'm sure Lewis Hamilton can agree with me here, as Button enjoyed this record-breaking speed in the pits while Hamilton's had the brunt of McLaren's amateur hour pit stops. What we need now from McLaren is some consistency - if they can do frequent pit stops around the 3 second mark, as opposed to 5, 10, 15 second efforts with an occasional 2.4 thrown in, then they'll be back up to the proper standard of their end of the pit lane.

What else? Oh yeah, Fernando Alonso won! He was so dominant that I pretty much forgot about him. Not much to say about it really, other than he is certainly looking damn near unbeatable in the championship as we pass the halfway point of the season. In other news from the Spanish-speaking contingent: Pastor Maldonado didn't hit anyone! Hurray!

Gold star, sweetheart. He might have only finish 15th and a lap down, but at least I can have a break from rigorously defending him every race weekend. I suspect Gabriela succeeded in helping him relax this time. No doubt he'll be back to his usual mad shenanigans soon, to entertain and frustrate us in equal measure.

Finally, I figure I should mention the excellent shindig I had while watching this Grand Prix. Bit of a link-tastic paragraph, but let's just go with it. I was at F1 In Pubs again (the Birmingham division) where a raucous and most bodacious time was had by all. This time, I had company from Twitter pals Dom and David, who roped me into a rather insane GROUP edition of Fan Formula! I thoroughly recommend both F1 In Pubs, for a great place to watch a GP with fellow (equally-mad) F1 fans, and Fan Formula (to contribute or just watch) for a brilliant format for F1 opinions. So if you just can't get enough mad waffling about the German Grand Prix, head over to YouTube to watch our ramblings, live from the pub - part 1 here and part 2 here.

Anyway, I have rambled on long enough now. As always, you can leave your comments below, tweet me @F1_Obsessive, and now you can also have a gander at my new YouTube channel, where I'll be uploading Fan Formula entries each week. So I hope you enjoyed the German Grand Prix, and I'll see you next time for Hungaroring - byeeeeeeeeeee!

Alternator Aggravator

RACE TRACK: Spanish Stroll - Mink DeVille

...Because even when he's coming from 11th on the grid, Fernando makes it looks easy. And so, we didn't get a record-breaking eighth different winner in the first eight races, because Magic Alonso stormed to victory in Valencia, taking his second win of the 2012 season and securing a 20 point lead in the drivers' championship.

His trackside celebrations in front of the predominantly Spanish crowd were fun. I mean, usually the FIA don't even let you touch anything before being weighed to ensure all regulations are met, so it was nice to see some post-race shenanigans from Fernando. Driving along with the Spanish flag, dancing about with the marshalls, and eventually being dragged away to the slightly delayed podium after several minutes' unauthorised frolicking.

When he eventually made it onto the top step, we were greeted with a blast from the past, seeing Alonso, Raikkonen and Schumacher in the top three finishing positions.

 

Some fun facts for you regarding this very successful trio...

• These three drivers have now shared the podium on 5 different occasions.
• In all these instances, Fernando Alonso has been on the top step, with Kimi Raikkonen taking the second place spot twice, to Michael Schumacher's three times.
• Between them, they have TEN world drivers' championships - 7 for Michael of course, 2 for Fernando and 1 for Kimi.
• This trio also have every WDC between the years of 2000 and 2007.
• All three have driven for Ferrari during their careers, although Fernando Alonso is yet to win a championship with them.

So yes, a rather retro podium, but lovely to see Fernando's emotional celebrations, Kimi getting another good points finish, and Michael finally getting a bit of luck! But onto the rest of the race now...

I'd say it's pretty rare that we see reliability problems in more recent years, but this race had 2 major retirements due to alternator failure. Of course (as regular readers and my Twitter followers will have come to expect) my heart broke into a million pieces when the legendary giraffe Monsieur Grosjean slowed to a halt after 41 of the 57 laps. All the more devastating given that he was within a second of the leader when it happened, he was potentially our 8th different winner!

His reaction was classic Romain: a shrug of mild disappointment, and then immediately back to his usual, smiley self as he walked back to the garage. A slightly more extreme reaction came from Sebastian Vettel who, a few laps earlier, had retired from the race with what turned out to be the exact same issue. We've seen one or two stroppy moments from the reigning world champion since he's not been dominating the races like he used to (such as Cucumbergate and the use of his other finger in Malaysia) and, after his retirement from this race, he provided us with a frustrated but rather jazzy glove slap. Cue the remixed GIFs - and feel free to add some dance music in your head.

But my 'most twatty flamboyant reaction of the race' award goes, naturally, to Lewis Hamilton. I'm sure the McLaren budgeting department winced a lot when he threw his £50,000 steering wheel out of his car in annoyance after his collision with Pastor Maldonado on the penultimate lap of the race. Literally throwing (very expensive) toys out the pram (/cockpit).

I guess my rant of the race will have to be on that Hamilton/Maldonado incident. I tweeted and tweeted about it at the time, but there's no point in stopping now. First of all, let's remember that both drivers ended up with nil points where they might've had 15 or 12. And so both of them lost out equally, if not slightly less lost for Hamilton as his tyres were going off the cliff anyway. But the main point really is that they both COULD have chosen to act differently in that split second to avoid the collision. Hamilton could've left space for Maldonado on the track. Maldonado could have cut the corner completely rather than trying to rejoin straight away. Hamilton could've anticipated Maldonado rejoining the track at that moment and gone a little bit wide to leave some space. But they didn't. And to be honest, I didn't really expect them to, because they're racing drivers. Of course neither one of them wants to yield to another driver, it's their natural instinct to fight to win. And yes, sometimes this attitude causes avoidable accidents, but that's motor racing. Plus, in that moment, they have the tiniest fraction of a second to decide where to look, which pedal to push, which buttons to press, and which direction to steer. So I don't think either driver is to blame really. They both made a decision that wasn't the most sensible, and they both paid for it. Although I think of it as a racing incident, I suppose Maldonado's penalty is reasonable as it gives him a result equal to Hamilton (0 points) - it would've been quite cheeky if Pastor had gotten a point out of all this. But mad Hamilton fans the people calling for him to be banned from Formula 1 for dangerous driving... well they obviously haven't seen any of Lewis' driving. Anyway, I really should shut up on this now, but that's my view. If you disagree, we can agree to do so, that's fine (and feel free to put forward your opinion in the comments), but let's not try and force each other to change our views. Because that is truly maddening. Ok? Ok.

As for the rest of the race... well I forgot we were in Valencia for sure! There was actually overtaking - although some more successful than others. Obviously JEV's cutting across Heikki stands out as maddest move of the race (some nice expletives from KOV in the official race edit), not to mention how fast he was driving with that severely punctured tyre. Although at the time, I was desperate for a safety car to give Vettel some company at the front again, so no complaints really.

What else? Well it was good to see the Lotuses/Loti/Kimi-and-Romain doing very well, both drivers making some excellent passes - think it could've been a Lotus 1-2 if things had happened differently... but you know I don't do what-ifs! And more LOLZ at the outstanding McLaren pit crew, as Hamilton's reserve front jack man did a nervous jig trying to work out if he was needed. It must've been amateur hour in the Valencian pitlane because there were dodgy stops from more than just McLaren for once, even some mismatched tyres on one car.

So overall, the European Grand Prix was a pleasant surprise. Usually we all expect to doze off like we're watching a Paul di Resta interview or something, but 2012 offered a good amount of race action. But that's all from me for now! Feel free to follow me on Twitter @F1_Obsessive aaaaaand I'll see you next time for the British Grand Prix - where perhaps the Jubilee/regal theme of 2012 will rub off on Silverstone and provide race vehicles more like this...

May The 4s Be With You

RACE TRACK: Tired Of Waiting For You - Green Day (or: 'Ode To The McLaren Pit Crew')

You'll have to forgive the Star Wars reference (or enjoy it, whatever floats your boat), but Bernie was on top evil-dictator form this weekend in tumultuous Bahrain. For those who don't really know their Star Wars, the character of Emperor Palpatine is best described as "the supreme ruler of the most powerful tyrannical regime the galaxy had ever witnessed". But for fear of being sued or otherwise 'silenced', I shall point out that this bears absolutely no resemblance to F1 'supremo' Bernard Charles Ecclestone... at all... nope... definitely not.

 

But anyway, now it is time to use the 4s! And hopefully end these terrible Star Wars puns. Because this Bahrain GP ended with an awful lot of '4' milestones...

• Despite fears for safety amongst political unrest in the country, this year's Bahrain GP went ahead and was the 4th race of the 2012 F1 season.
• In an alarming display of consistency, this race marks Mark Webber's 4th 4th place finish in a row. Lewis Hamilton was only able to achieve 3 3rd place finishes in a row.
• Sebastian Vettel was the 4th different race winner of the season so far. After Jenson Button sailed to victory in Melbourne, Fernando Alonso silenced Ferrari's critics in Sepang, and Nico Rosberg took his maiden victory in Shanghai, 'Finger Boy' Sebastian Vettel was back on top.
• Bahrain also resulted in a 4th different constructor to win a race this year. McLaren took the Australian GP, Ferrari the Malaysian, Mercedes the Chinese and now Red Bull in Bahrain.
• The top 4 finishers were all driving cars with Renault engines: the Red Bulls of Vettel and Webber in 1st and 4th respectively, along with the Lotuses (Loti?) of Raikkonen and Giraffe Grosjean in 2nd and 3rd.
• And finally, the Bahrain GP gave us a 4th different championship leader after only 4 races of 2012. Button's win in Australia put him atop the WDC, then Alonso led after Malaysia. Hamilton's consistent 3rd place finishes put him in the lead following the Chinese GP but now it's back to business as usual with Vettel leading the WDC despite lacking his usual level of dominance.

Without a doubt the best of these milestones are the 4 different winning drivers, winning constructors and championship leaders. It's a glorious amount of unpredictability - something that we didn't see much of in 2011. I mean, after the world's media had pretty much written off the 2012 Ferrari, who'd have thought the magician Alonso would be able to drag it to a victory this early on? And having spent 6 years just about on the good side of mediocre, we see Britney Nico Rosberg finally taking his first win. Who's going to win next time? Charles Pic? Pedro de la Rosa? Or even Felipe baby!

Gratuitous Felipinho photo. ...I'll let you decide which of these Felipe Babies is most likely to win a race.  
PS. Feliz aniversário Felipe! 31 today, but not looking a day over 13.

But anyway, on with the show. Rosberg was certainly pushing his luck AND the other drivers with a fair bit of dodgy defending from Hamilton and then Alonso:

 

Nico's indignant team radio after that first tussle with Hamilton was that he passed him "off the track", which made me think at first that Lewis might be due a visit to his old pals the stewards. But seeing it a second time, Rosberg pushing Alonso off the track in the same place, Nico started to look like the repeat offender. Regular readers will know that I'd have no problem in condemning Hamilton when he does something wrong, but this time I think Nico was the one making the dodgy moves. I was quite surprised that he didn't get any penalties, not even a reprimand, despite being investigated for both incidents after the race. My conclusion is that this is similar to Schumacher pushing Barrichello right up against the pit wall in Hungary 2010: definitely madness, but apparently allowable. That's racing...

But someone who was definitely NOT racing was everyone's least favourite McLaren mechanic, Mr Left Rear! As someone who dislikes Hamilton immensely, you can imagine my hysterical laughter when his first pit stop was a dismal 9.9 seconds due to some flailing with the wheel nut on the left rear.

But even I was shaking my head when the same mistake happened again, giving Hamilton an even worse 12.2 second stop. Apparently McLaren let the poor bloke off the last pit stop, letting him have his mental breakdown quietly in the corner of the garage as opposed to in the pit lane. But their best effort for Hamilton in this race was 5.4 seconds - still a good 2 seconds off what they should be doing. Red Bull are happy to be seeing a certain finger again, but I think the McLaren boys should start to get more used to this one:

So grinding my gears this week was definitely McLaren. Just so you don't think I've been kidnapped and replaced by some sort of Hamilton sympathiser, I was still laughing my head off at his misfortune, but the team's errors are getting ridiculous now. In China it was Button who suffered worse with that blasted left rear (and with similar pit crew incompetence in Silverstone last year) so my rage at them makes a bit more sense from that point of view. As for this race, it's safe to say I was making a similar noise to Jenson's engine when he retired - GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. So McLaren, please get your act together ready for next race. Stop grinding my gears and I might stop grinding my teeth.

But let's end on a happier note. In fact, the happiest thing on the planet most likely: the eternally-grinning giraffe himself, Monsieur Romain Grosjean!

It honestly looks like he hasn't moved since after qualifying in Australia. Look, exactly the same gleeful face! But I must admit, I was smiling too. Just look at this podium! After Romain's apparent jinx in the first two races, and some bad tyre strategy from Lotus for Kimi in China, it was great to see both of them on the podium in Bahrain. Although Kimi claimed to be 'disappointed' with second (as most racing drivers would be), I think him and aaall his fans were grateful that he made it to a good finish without his tyres committing suicide, like last week. And as for Grosjean, I'm glad he's finally getting a chance to silence his critics from all the way back in 2009. I mean, at the start alone, he was flying!

I know, I know, more giraffe-related Grosjean-teasing. Hey, be grateful I've stopped the Star Wars puns.

But seriously, I'm pleased for the guy - how can you not be, looking at that sweet little face?! Here's hoping Lotus can keep up in the development race and give us more amusement from Romain 'the happiest giraffe in the zoo' Grosjean and Kimi 'Kimi-face' Raikkonen in some top three press conferences.

I'm signing off now, but I'll be back spouting more rubbish after everyone's favourite and exhilarating race, the Spanish Grand Prix! As always, feel free to tweet me in the meantime @F1_Obsessive, comment your thoughts on the race below, or vote in my poll over to the right. See you next time!

Lemmings: Proud Sponsors Of Pirelli

RACE TRACK: I've Just Begun - Nico Rosberg Britney Spears

Those tyres threw themselves off the cliff pretty hard and fast this weekend. Don't get me wrong, the Pirellis certainly don't grind my gears. I LOVE the element of unpredictability they provide during the races, but my heart couldn't help but break when Kimi's tyres went off and he plummeted 12 places in only 2 laps. 'Poor Kimi' was even trending on Twitter! I scoured the many faces of Kimi Raikkonen to find his reaction to his ruined race and I guess any of these would probably cover it.

But despite Kimi missing out on a potential podium finish, tyres acting like lemmings didn't grind my gears too badly. This week, that coveted position is awarded to the Mercedes and McLaren pit crews! I know, I know, they all work exceptionally hard, have to work under extreme pressure and 99% of the time do a great job, but that didn't stop me screaming at the television watching the pit stops for Schumacher and Button.

The mechanics across from him are totally wondering who this guy's waving to. I've never been a die-hard Schumacher fan (I grew up watching him dominate F1 and everyone gets bored of the guy who wins all the time), but I was pretty devastated that we lost out on seeing him fight for the win for the first time since his return. The man himself was a lot more forgiving of his pit crew than I was, offering a hug to the poor bloke on the right front tyre.

As for Button, it was an agonisingly long wait while the McLaren mechanic fought to get the left rear tyre on properly. I suppose I should be grateful that they held him and didn't let him trundle off with only 3 like in Silverstone last year (significantly more rage from me then) but, for the second time this race, I found myself frustrated at the pit crew for eliminating the possibility of a fight at the front. And yet again I was getting far more cross than the person who actually suffered from it. Jenson was magnanimous (yes, I learn my vocabulary mostly from Mr. Smedley) when asked about it, saying "It's frustrating but you know, this happens. I made a mistake in Malaysia, someone's made a mistake here, we've just got to learn from that." It never ceases to amaze me what an all-round good guy Jenson Button is. He could've been like me, shouting screaming swearing, but instead he accepted it, kept his cool, and fought back to a respectable second place. Who knows, maybe if he'd repeated his pit strategy from last year's Chinese GP, he might've had a quicker stop with Red Bull...

 

Aaaanyway, what else? Oh yes, cursed crashers Grosjean and Maldonado actually FINISHED THE RACE. Congratuwelldone boys! Finally! Both of them managed to survive the train of about 8 or 9 cars lapping in close company for the majority of the race. It was this traffic that made Button's life more difficult after his slow stop, but it was great to see such close battles going on for the full duration of the race. It's not often that you see cars within a second or two of each other on the final lap without a safety car! In amongst an ever-changing top ten, both Senna and Maldonado got a good haul of points on the eve of Sir Frank Williams' 70th birthday. Another fun moment mid-race was Mark Webber's continued disregard for gravity:

How one does a wheelie in a Formula 1 car, I will never know. Keep flying, Mark.

This week I was again able to enjoy the F1 coverage on Sky as well as on the BBC. So to briefly summarise my opinion on this coverage 'war': both are good in their own way. I prefer Sky for the serious action, and I'll never want to miss the LIVE race, but the BBC are good for a bit of F1 humour. My highlight of the Sky coverage this weekend was the live interview with Martin Whitmarsh after the race where he tried, in vain, to hide a rapidly-melting Magnum ice cream behind his back. A disembodied hand appeared from off camera offering Raikkonen-approved refreshment for all the Sky presenters and pundits, and Martin Brundle impressed greatly by managing to scarf down his entire Magnum during the cut-away to the Skypad. Man's got skills. My highlight of the BBC coverage was probably their personification of the 'Now Kiss!' meme during the post-race forum. Firstly they insisted that Nico Rosberg kiss his 1st place trophy on camera, then Jake and Jenson indulged the Twitter fangirls with this slightly-awkward-but-kind-of-funny moment:

Before you ask: no, I am not going to take the whole BBC VS. SKY FIGHT TO THE DEATH thing seriously. We get a choice, just enjoy it, who KERS?

And finally, to the race winner, Princess Britney NICO Rosberg. Again, I'm not his biggest fan and I have to admit I've been somewhat underwhelmed by him in the past. But this weekend he was on fire (not in a Heikki Kovalainen way) and I was immensely pleased to see him take his first victory. He certainly looked at home receiving his award for 1st place...

...Sorry. That was inevitable. It was also bittersweet to hear the statistic that Keke and Nico Rosberg are the only father-and-son GP winners where the father has been alive to see the son achieve an F1 victory. A sad fact overall, but nice for Nico, Keke and their family. But anyway, it might've been Nico's Only Wish This Year to win a race, he was definitely Lucky in some aspects, but now he's Stronger. This weekend in China he's Just Begun (Having His Fun), and I'm sure Kimi will be saying Ooops if Nico Does It Again and- oh god I have to stop.

"Welcome to 2009!"

RACE TRACK: Good Vibrations - The Beach Boys

I realise I am later with this race review than Kobayashi is on the brakes, but may I tentatively say... the blog is back! ...Place your bets now for when I'll go off the rails again.

But anyway: F1 IS BACK BABY! And the best part of the start of a new season for me (aside from ditching the F1 withdrawal symptoms) is the unpredictability. After a few weeks of fairly meaningless testing, where no team wanted to show their true potential, we finally get to see a new order establish itself in qualifying. I think Kimi speaks for himself, Felipe and Fernando when he says:

 

That poor a qualifying effort certainly worried Ferrari fans - and for Alonso to outqualify Massa despite being stationary and throwing a strop in the gravel, well, I think Felipe just needs a unicorn plaster on his head and a cuddle. I'm sure Rob would oblige. Or me.

To further confuse the Raikkonen fans, we find Romain Grosjean, in an identical Lotus, THIRD on the grid! Before this weekend, I was pretty indifferent to him. I felt like he had a chance to impress in F1 at Renault and had failed to - but I'm a firm believer in second chances (hope to see you soon Jaime!). To rejoin F1 after a fairly miserable first attempt, and to be driving alongside a former world champion, must be pretty damn daunting. And yet we find him beaming in the top three press conference alongside the McLaren duo! I tweeted at the time that he looked like the happiest giraffe in the zoo. This picture does nothing to refute that statement:

 

Look at his little face! When qualifying was over, I could just hear Will Buxton in the distance (from Melbourne) shrieking "SHUT UP. THAT IS RIDICULOUS."

But the other surprise of qualifying came from the man with the beautiful serial killer face, Pastor Maldonado. I'm well aware that I am the SOLE member of the Maldonado fan club, but if you can't be happy for him, be happy for Williams. Following their worst season in F1 history, to have a driver qualify as high as eighth is wonderful in my opinion. And so this weekend, what really grinds my gears is that inch or two of artifical grass that sadly brought Pastor's race to an end with only half a lap to go. 

I think it's safe to say that if my hotel room neighbours weren't already awake, they were after that happened. I know it was a driver error, but it's just a bit devastating that Williams could have had more points in that race than in the WHOLE of 2011, if it wasn't for that tiny mistake! Such a shame, but I'm looking forward to seeing what Williams can do next weekend and in the rest of the season. Other notable disappoints were the retirements of the Caterhams, the fighty Brazilian mafia of Felipe and Bruno, as well as Grosjean and Schumacher who had both been running well. But again, it was good to see some more midfield teams/drivers competing higher up the grid - I want to see more than the top 5 drivers on the podium this year!

But on with the rest of the race. In an interview with Coulthard on the grid, Jenson said it'd be difficult into Turn 1, but that he'd "give it a go". And he bloody did! The Girl With The Button Tattoo was naturally very happy with that - I reckon the race was won and lost in that first corner, and what a result! Button promptly "did a Vettel" and pulled out enough of a gap to rarely be bothered by his teammate or either racy Red Bulls. Now I'll admit Vettel was lucky with the timing of his pitstop and the safety car, but Hamilton didn't make much of an impact this race. Although I guess we should be grateful he kept his head down, like he promised? As for Button, he did try to scare us with a radio message sounding worried about a vibration and, listening to the exceptionally shouty Ben Edwards commentary, this was obviously HIGH DRAMA and Jenson was DOOOOOOMED (he did seem to like an overreaction did Ben). But it can't have been a real problem because the smooth operator Mr. Button sailed to victory uncompromised. And so, for the first race after a tortuous winter break, we have someone other than Seb on the top step of the podium! Judging by his team radio after the chequered flag, he was as happy as me about this: "Welcome to 2009!"

Also on the last lap there were plenty of reasons to be excited about the midfield battles for 2012. As Button crossed the line victorious and Maldonado exited his mangled car, the Saubers, Toro Rossos, Di Resta and Raikkonen were swapping places for the entire final lap. Perez and Raikkonen in particular had done EPIC jobs to get up into the top ten from their dismal grid slots (Sergio in last place after a penalty) and the numerous overtakes in the final turns were great!

So anyway, it really is about time I shut up (so much tl;dr) but I think it's safe to say that this was a fun race, and hopefully the start of some great battles for the 2012 season! I shall leave you with this, because they are just impossibly cute:

 

As the commentator for Star Sports said during the champagne shower, "the chemistry between these two champions is absolutely great". ...I'll let you take from that whatever you like.

Until next weekend pals! Feel free to leave a comment (agree, disagree, call me a raving lunatic - whatever you like), or tweet/follow me at @F1_Obsessive. :D