Those tyres threw themselves off the cliff pretty hard and fast this weekend. Don't get me wrong, the Pirellis certainly don't grind my gears. I LOVE the element of unpredictability they provide during the races, but my heart couldn't help but break when Kimi's tyres went off and he plummeted 12 places in only 2 laps. 'Poor Kimi' was even trending on Twitter! I scoured the many faces of Kimi Raikkonen to find his reaction to his ruined race and I guess any of these would probably cover it.
But despite Kimi missing out on a potential podium finish, tyres acting like lemmings didn't grind my gears too badly. This week, that coveted position is awarded to the Mercedes and McLaren pit crews! I know, I know, they all work exceptionally hard, have to work under extreme pressure and 99% of the time do a great job, but that didn't stop me screaming at the television watching the pit stops for Schumacher and Button.
The mechanics across from him are totally wondering who this guy's waving to. I've never been a die-hard Schumacher fan (I grew up watching him dominate F1 and everyone gets bored of the guy who wins all the time), but I was pretty devastated that we lost out on seeing him fight for the win for the first time since his return. The man himself was a lot more forgiving of his pit crew than I was, offering a hug to the poor bloke on the right front tyre.
As for Button, it was an agonisingly long wait while the McLaren mechanic fought to get the left rear tyre on properly. I suppose I should be grateful that they held him and didn't let him trundle off with only 3 like in Silverstone last year (significantly more rage from me then) but, for the second time this race, I found myself frustrated at the pit crew for eliminating the possibility of a fight at the front. And yet again I was getting far more cross than the person who actually suffered from it. Jenson was magnanimous (yes, I learn my vocabulary mostly from Mr. Smedley) when asked about it, saying "It's frustrating but you know, this happens. I made a mistake in Malaysia, someone's made a mistake here, we've just got to learn from that." It never ceases to amaze me what an all-round good guy Jenson Button is. He could've been like me, shouting screaming swearing, but instead he accepted it, kept his cool, and fought back to a respectable second place. Who knows, maybe if he'd repeated his pit strategy from last year's Chinese GP, he might've had a quicker stop with Red Bull...
Aaaanyway, what else? Oh yes, cursed crashers Grosjean and Maldonado actually FINISHED THE RACE. Congratuwelldone boys! Finally! Both of them managed to survive the train of about 8 or 9 cars lapping in close company for the majority of the race. It was this traffic that made Button's life more difficult after his slow stop, but it was great to see such close battles going on for the full duration of the race. It's not often that you see cars within a second or two of each other on the final lap without a safety car! In amongst an ever-changing top ten, both Senna and Maldonado got a good haul of points on the eve of Sir Frank Williams' 70th birthday. Another fun moment mid-race was Mark Webber's continued disregard for gravity:
How one does a wheelie in a Formula 1 car, I will never know. Keep flying, Mark.
This week I was again able to enjoy the F1 coverage on Sky as well as on the BBC. So to briefly summarise my opinion on this coverage 'war': both are good in their own way. I prefer Sky for the serious action, and I'll never want to miss the LIVE race, but the BBC are good for a bit of F1 humour. My highlight of the Sky coverage this weekend was the live interview with Martin Whitmarsh after the race where he tried, in vain, to hide a rapidly-melting Magnum ice cream behind his back. A disembodied hand appeared from off camera offering Raikkonen-approved refreshment for all the Sky presenters and pundits, and Martin Brundle impressed greatly by managing to scarf down his entire Magnum during the cut-away to the Skypad. Man's got skills. My highlight of the BBC coverage was probably their personification of the 'Now Kiss!' meme during the post-race forum. Firstly they insisted that Nico Rosberg kiss his 1st place trophy on camera, then Jake and Jenson indulged the Twitter fangirls with this slightly-awkward-but-kind-of-funny moment:
Before you ask: no, I am not going to take the whole BBC VS. SKY FIGHT TO THE DEATH thing seriously. We get a choice, just enjoy it, who KERS?
And finally, to the race winner, PrincessBritney NICO Rosberg. Again, I'm not his biggest fan and I have to admit I've been somewhat underwhelmed by him in the past. But this weekend he was on fire (not in a Heikki Kovalainen way) and I was immensely pleased to see him take his first victory. He certainly looked at home receiving his award for 1st place...
...Sorry. That was inevitable. It was also bittersweet to hear the statistic that Keke and Nico Rosberg are the only father-and-son GP winners where the father has been alive to see the son achieve an F1 victory. A sad fact overall, but nice for Nico, Keke and their family. But anyway, it might've been Nico's Only Wish This Year to win a race, he was definitely Lucky in some aspects, but now he's Stronger. This weekend in China he's Just Begun (Having His Fun), and I'm sure Kimi will be saying Ooops if Nico Does It Again and- oh god I have to stop.
RACE TRACK: Push The Button(out of your pit box) - The Sugababes
Where to begin?! Ohhh Jenson, the photoshops were appearing before the race had even finished. For those who didn't see it, Jenson "looked down" on his way into the pit lane (which I would say is fairly dangerous in general) and blundered into the Red Bull pit box... which is quite different looking. He even came to a full stop while the bewildered and BLUE-clad mechanics waved him on. I would've thought Vettel (who was right on his tail probably laughing his helmet off) would be held up just as much as Button in the kerfuffle, but alas, Seb got out in front, undoing JB's epic overtake from the start line. Here's what it all looked like:
And here's what it looked like if you, like I, watch far too much television:
Sorry, couldn't resist. Poor Jenson, first the Head & Shoulder's humiliation, now this. Hope he gets a good rest in the next 3 weeks anyway.
What else happened in this crazy race? Oh yes, SNEAK WEBBER! Bloody hell, seriously, where did he come from?! He joked in the press conference that he might deliver some epic fail in qualifying every race and just sail past everyone on shiny new tyres - not a terrible idea Skeletor Mark! I mean I think it's a shame that Jenson wasn't on the podium instead, especially when in the early laps JB was in P1 and Webber had failed to make an impression on anybody, but I can't really fault his performance. So instead we shall share out the humiliation and enjoy some of Mark's musical stylings for his love of milk.
Next up will be what a friend of mine affectionately calls 'Vicky's Hamilton Rant Corner'. Yes, it has it's own corner. Because what really grinds my gears is Lewis Hamilton. In general. But specifically in this race, after some of his delightful comments recently, I find him more undeserving than ever.
First off, there was a delightful and whiney interview with him in the Sun on Saturday (http://bit.ly/hb3ngB) where he claims that the Chinese people treat him like a king. I was, of course, perplexed by this - but I've solved it now. The word for 'king' in Chinese is pronounced 'wang'. That explains it. And no, I actually didn't make it up.
And then if you watched the BBC pre-amble to the race on Sunday, you might've seen an equally lovely interview with Hamilton. My favourite quote was the following (and I am actually quoting directly): "As a team, you have to rely on others to do as good a job as you, if not better, and you can never really guarantee that everyone's going to do a top job. There's always somebody, someone's performance that's not going to be as good as what it could be." Oh that's nice. We know from past experience not be surprised by Hamilton's team-bashing - remember when he hilariously mounted the back of Raikkonen's Ferrari when the pit lane light was on red in Montreal 2008? He said afterwards that his team didn't tell him the light was on red. Do you need your team to tell you to use your god damn eyes? Anyway, so this more recent interview says to me, and the world, that he thinks he's god's gift and that his team are shoddy underlings. If I was one of his mechanics and I heard that interview, I think I'd have to give him a right rear wheel à la Alguersuari (boing!). It's the blatant hypocrisy that's grinding my gears, these hideous rants in interviews, followed by laying it on thick after the race victory, all tearful and thankful. You're not thankful Lewis, you're a smug git.
And what a fine note to end on. Sadly we have 3 long weeks to wait until the next race, so I'll have to find something else to be ridiculously biased about in the meantime. Over and out!
