The Williams Phoenix Rises

RACE TRACK: Fire - The Crazy World Of Arthur Brown

Those of you who know me in real life or on Twitter (you poor buggers) may know that I've had a half-joking love for a certain Venezuelan Formula 1 driver since his debut in Melbourne 2011. It started out just enjoying how much he looked like a serial killer, but at Monaco last year, I began to root for him for real. He was finally able to prove his driving talent around the street circuit, before... I'm getting angry just thinking about it. When the spat continued at Spa, I think it's safe to assume he was one of the most disliked drivers on the grid. And so, alas, I was the sole member in his forlorn little fan club.

Until now.

DELIGHTED to be typing this: Pastor Maldonado WINS the 2012 Spanish Grand Prix!

So many achievements by that man this weekend. Pole position (which I predicted after FP3 actually, but foolishly did not put money on), first time having the Venezuelan national anthem on the podium (quite jazzy actually), first win for Williams in 8 long years (a wonderful gift for Sir Frank's 70th birthday), and 25 times his points in the whole of 2011, all in one glorious race. Oh, and not forgetting providing us with a FIFTH different winning driver and constructor. 2012 is a sensational season so far. Also, I can't imagine any driver more frightening to be breathing down your neck for most of a race than Fernando Alonso.

Ok, so maybe that photograph wasn't the best choice to convey the intimidating nature of a double world champion, on home turf, tearing after you, but my point still stands. Maldonado has only a fraction of the experience Alonso has in F1 and yet he was able to stay in front despite the Spaniard's relentless efforts from less than a second behind and within the DRS zone. I like to think that people who thought he was just a 'pay driver' may start to take note of his driving ability here. The race had no big crashes or adverse weather conditions to explain away Maldonado's presence at the front of the grid - he won on pure merit. Amazing drive. I'll come back to the emotional rollercoaster of the post-race drama at Williams, but for now, I'm reviewing the race action.

...Or what there was of it. During the race, I was naturally caught up in the madness that was seeing "P1 MAL" on my television screen and had consequently developed the Christian Horner foot-jiggle. It was only hours later, whilst pondering who might be runner-up to Pastor for driver of the day, that I realised: none of the others did very well. In the midfield and back, the Toro Rossos and the Force Indias were bordering on invisible (and not because of FOM this time), the Caterhams didn't make the leaps and bounds they promised, and the HRTs were still acting like bloody cucumbers. As for those who SHOULD be further up front: Felipe baby was finally acting a bit racy, only to drop out of the points after a drive-through, and Webber and my beloved Button hardly moved the whole race! When asked after the race what went wrong, Jenson laughed and said, "I was just slow." Sad times.

Ok, Lewis Hamilton gaining 16 places isn't bad. But it's hard to get excited about an 8th place finish for a driver in arguably the best team on the grid, even if you're actually a fan of the muppet. I found myself in the rare position of having not much to complain about with Notorious H.A.M. this weekend - especially having successfully not smashed Massa out of the race. But of course it was back to usual as soon as he opened his mouth in the interviews, unnecessarily slagging off his teammate and anyone who calls his driving style aggressive (which it is, and is not an insult). So it's the usual suspect grinding my gears this week, along with the surprising mediocrity of so much of the field on Sunday. But now back to the better things...

Straight in with a photograph of the happiest giraffe in the zoo and all gear-grinding is eradicated. This was his face when describing his race as "alright". Can you imagine his expression when he has a better-than-alright race?! I think my tweet that he could cure depression makes a perfectly valid point. But yes, a shame we didn't see him on the podium but some more good points for Romain and less of the bad luck from earlier in the season.


Aside from the adorable giraffe, another shining beacon of hope for my cynical soul was Sky F1's success in making me laugh almost constantly during their coverage. A particular highlight for me was Martin's gridwalk, where he attempted his 'Marty's Random Person' segment:

...And failed. What that video sadly cuts off is the next part when Martin strides up to Bernie Ecclestone and asks if he speaks English - Bernie's face was priceless.

After the race, while the BBC was showing you Eddie Jordan's foot, Simon Lazenby on Sky was busy giggling helplessly having asked Pastor Maldonado's fiancée live on television what she does to help him relax. Raised eyebrows and laughter all round. Simon was certainly earning his new nickname of Lolzenby. And he's the perfect candidate for a caption competition:

I'm thinking, "I said WHAT to Gabriella?!" Feel free to comment or tweet me your ideas!

On a rather less fun note, I can't really review this race without mentioning the fire in the Williams garage. I think it's a truly wonderful thing that somehow the positive stories following this outweighed the negative ones. Thankfully, news of injuries were few and tales of heroism were plenty. It was fantastic to see members of all the teams up and down the pit lane racing to extinguish the fire, and managing to have it under control before the circuit's fire engines had even arrived. The photograph of a cameraman dropping his equipment to help a mechanic out of the flaming garage was an incredible sight. But the one that I think warmed the most hearts after a scary afternoon was the shot of race winner, driver of the day and man of the moment, Pastor Maldonado, carrying his young cousin through the smoke to safety. I can't help but make this comparison.

Please forgive the metaphor, but this Spanish Grand Prix has given the Williams phoenix a chance to rise from the ashes. Williams is a beloved team to so many, and after such a terrible season in 2011, it's brilliant to see the start of a resurgence. Oh, and I should probably mention that my one-person Maldonado fan club is officially accepting new members. And on that note, I'm signing off. Apologies for this being quite excessively long but, you know, stuff happened. As usual, if you have any comments, leave them below or tweet me @F1_Obsessive, ¡VIVA VENEZUELA! aaaaaand see you in Monaco baby! ^^

"Welcome to 2009!"

RACE TRACK: Good Vibrations - The Beach Boys

I realise I am later with this race review than Kobayashi is on the brakes, but may I tentatively say... the blog is back! ...Place your bets now for when I'll go off the rails again.

But anyway: F1 IS BACK BABY! And the best part of the start of a new season for me (aside from ditching the F1 withdrawal symptoms) is the unpredictability. After a few weeks of fairly meaningless testing, where no team wanted to show their true potential, we finally get to see a new order establish itself in qualifying. I think Kimi speaks for himself, Felipe and Fernando when he says:

 

That poor a qualifying effort certainly worried Ferrari fans - and for Alonso to outqualify Massa despite being stationary and throwing a strop in the gravel, well, I think Felipe just needs a unicorn plaster on his head and a cuddle. I'm sure Rob would oblige. Or me.

To further confuse the Raikkonen fans, we find Romain Grosjean, in an identical Lotus, THIRD on the grid! Before this weekend, I was pretty indifferent to him. I felt like he had a chance to impress in F1 at Renault and had failed to - but I'm a firm believer in second chances (hope to see you soon Jaime!). To rejoin F1 after a fairly miserable first attempt, and to be driving alongside a former world champion, must be pretty damn daunting. And yet we find him beaming in the top three press conference alongside the McLaren duo! I tweeted at the time that he looked like the happiest giraffe in the zoo. This picture does nothing to refute that statement:

 

Look at his little face! When qualifying was over, I could just hear Will Buxton in the distance (from Melbourne) shrieking "SHUT UP. THAT IS RIDICULOUS."

But the other surprise of qualifying came from the man with the beautiful serial killer face, Pastor Maldonado. I'm well aware that I am the SOLE member of the Maldonado fan club, but if you can't be happy for him, be happy for Williams. Following their worst season in F1 history, to have a driver qualify as high as eighth is wonderful in my opinion. And so this weekend, what really grinds my gears is that inch or two of artifical grass that sadly brought Pastor's race to an end with only half a lap to go. 

I think it's safe to say that if my hotel room neighbours weren't already awake, they were after that happened. I know it was a driver error, but it's just a bit devastating that Williams could have had more points in that race than in the WHOLE of 2011, if it wasn't for that tiny mistake! Such a shame, but I'm looking forward to seeing what Williams can do next weekend and in the rest of the season. Other notable disappoints were the retirements of the Caterhams, the fighty Brazilian mafia of Felipe and Bruno, as well as Grosjean and Schumacher who had both been running well. But again, it was good to see some more midfield teams/drivers competing higher up the grid - I want to see more than the top 5 drivers on the podium this year!

But on with the rest of the race. In an interview with Coulthard on the grid, Jenson said it'd be difficult into Turn 1, but that he'd "give it a go". And he bloody did! The Girl With The Button Tattoo was naturally very happy with that - I reckon the race was won and lost in that first corner, and what a result! Button promptly "did a Vettel" and pulled out enough of a gap to rarely be bothered by his teammate or either racy Red Bulls. Now I'll admit Vettel was lucky with the timing of his pitstop and the safety car, but Hamilton didn't make much of an impact this race. Although I guess we should be grateful he kept his head down, like he promised? As for Button, he did try to scare us with a radio message sounding worried about a vibration and, listening to the exceptionally shouty Ben Edwards commentary, this was obviously HIGH DRAMA and Jenson was DOOOOOOMED (he did seem to like an overreaction did Ben). But it can't have been a real problem because the smooth operator Mr. Button sailed to victory uncompromised. And so, for the first race after a tortuous winter break, we have someone other than Seb on the top step of the podium! Judging by his team radio after the chequered flag, he was as happy as me about this: "Welcome to 2009!"

Also on the last lap there were plenty of reasons to be excited about the midfield battles for 2012. As Button crossed the line victorious and Maldonado exited his mangled car, the Saubers, Toro Rossos, Di Resta and Raikkonen were swapping places for the entire final lap. Perez and Raikkonen in particular had done EPIC jobs to get up into the top ten from their dismal grid slots (Sergio in last place after a penalty) and the numerous overtakes in the final turns were great!

So anyway, it really is about time I shut up (so much tl;dr) but I think it's safe to say that this was a fun race, and hopefully the start of some great battles for the 2012 season! I shall leave you with this, because they are just impossibly cute:

 

As the commentator for Star Sports said during the champagne shower, "the chemistry between these two champions is absolutely great". ...I'll let you take from that whatever you like.

Until next weekend pals! Feel free to leave a comment (agree, disagree, call me a raving lunatic - whatever you like), or tweet/follow me at @F1_Obsessive. :D

Meesta Brundoo For The Win!

(If you saw the race build-up with Massa and Smedley's [adorable] track guide, the title makes sense. If you didn't, you think I've gone insane. Oh well.)


RACE TRACK: Well That Was Easy - Franz Ferdinand

First off all, late blog post is late. My apologies. Not that I expect people are screaming and running into walls because of my brief absence. ANYWAY.

It's looking like a video-heavy post this week so we'll open with the aforementioned track guide from Felipe Massa and Rob Smedley which was beyond lovely:

But now onto the main 'action'. For a race with 126 overtakes (yes, really), it was bordering on uneventful. Every race so far this season has had a stand-out moment of the race - whether that's epic rookies ending up disqualified, flying Russians or blind Buttons - but this one kind of didn't. Sure it was kind of entertaining seeing the McLarens wheel to wheel and the Renaults shoving each other around, but if we talking team squabbles, I think we all found last year's Red Bull battle a bit more exciting.

(makes me want to watch SPEED, their synchronised "OHH NOOOOOO" was pleasingly comical)

The reason we all enjoyed this more than this year's playfighting is because, if we're honest, we can't resist a good crash. Now don't freak out and think I'm wishing dangerous situations upon drivers because I'm not - plus there's next to zero chance of people getting hurt in modern Formula 1 (thankfully). But it's always more fun with that possibility. And I know I'm not alone, millions of people end up on YouTube watching the more dramatic F1 crashes:

 

(I could've just put pictures, but you know you want to be viewer 1000001)

It's like what Martin was saying in the commentary, DRS takes away the desperation. With DRS, a driver can have a sensible go at the car in front and, if it doesn't work out, they only have to wait until the next lap to try again. Without it, there's the enjoyable crazy desperation that says, 'I might not be this close again' and we get to enjoy watching entertaining (if sometimes crazy) moves throughout the race. Don't get me wrong, we did see some fun fighting from Button and co. miles from the DRS zone, but it was the impossibly-easy breezing by that happened a few times that was letting this race down. I mean imagine if we'd had this kind of DRS zone in Brazil 2009 - we wouldn't have seen half of the mental moves Jenson made to wrap up the championship (particularly alongside everyone's favourite mentalist Mr. Kobayashi) and I think we can all agree that that race was where JB really earnt that title. If he'd simply sailed from 14th place to win the world championship I think there'd be a lot of sighing and raised eyebrows. Anyway, Martin Brundle (or if you're Felipe Massa, MEESTA BRUNDOO!) says it far better than me (from 09:46):

Martin calling Mark Webber 'mardy' was probably my highlight of that video, but I agree with Martin, and even Eddie - we'll have to ignore Jake on this occasion, loved Martin wincing as Jake strayed further and further from the point he intended to make. I defended DRS after the Malaysian Grand Prix because there is absolutely no point in taking away technology from Formula 1, but it just needs fine-tuning to avoid it looking like the guy in front has run out of fuel. Meesta Brundoo says it all. But he was on fire all weekend really, I mean, what a grid walk for starters. Well, he started out by showing us all how easy motorsport journalism really is, by simply shouting "JB!" in Button's ear and then following it with the journalistic prowess that is "...And?" But after the bewildered silence that followed, it was back to business as usual: elbowing people left and right, important interview topics such as Toblerone and EJ's wardrobe, and referring to Kai Ebel as a "right pain in the... microphone" (nice save). Given how bored I - like many - are getting with a certain Mr Vettel, Meesta Brundoo is looking like the lead contender for my driver of the day!

But I guess we can't not mention Seb here. My race track for this weekend says it all: well that was easy. I have to keep reminding myself that Vettel's a nice guy and an excellent driver, because no one likes a guy who wins so effortlessly. We just have to face it that, currently, that car with that driver is verging on unstoppable. I mean look at qualifying, it was both astounding and infuriating that Vettel could just sling his Red Bull around the lap once in Q3, park up, then sit back and watch the remaining minutes unfold on the television like the rest of us.

That preposterous level of ease is not going to give the tight championship battle that we all enjoyed in 2010. So I guess we just have to hope that a few things start to mix it up a bit as the season progresses - maybe upgrades from other teams, maybe some different strategy decisions for Vettel, who knows, but for now we truly have a Mini Schumi on our hands.

Over and out- oh, but seeing as I'm bothering with Twitter nowadays, feel free to send any 140 character ramblings you might have my way @F1_Obsessive (that is if you made it this far given how tl;dr this post ended up!)