Hungary Hungary Hamilton

RACE TRACK: Back To The Start - Razorlight

We'll start with the start today (chronological order, who'd have thought?), because there we witnessed quite the display of senility from a certain Mr Schumacher. Here's a view of the first attempted race start from fans in the grandstand:

So all 24 cars had set off on their warm-up lap at the Hungaroring and all the drivers were taking up their starting positions, ready for lights out. Except Michael Schumacher. He qualified a dismal 17th, but he must've been feeling self-deprecating as he pulled up in the 19th slot on the grid. Now I'm sure it must be difficult, when all the grid slots look the same and you've got a million things to think about in the cockpit of your F1 car... but surely you'd see that inviting, empty space right in front of you? But no, Michael was happy with 19th apparently and awaited the 5 red lights like the rest of the field. At this point, one can assume that poor Narain Karthikeyan was meandering about in no man's land, looking for a 25th grid slot to park his HRT. So with the back few rows all out of position, Charlie Whiting initiated a second warm-up lap, with flashing yellow lights on the gantry.

Now this is a pretty rare circumstance, so a few drivers were understandably confused by the proceedings - you can see from the video that several of the less experienced drivers were hesitant when setting off for the second time. But for some bizarre reason, the seven-time world champion got himself even more confused and promptly switched off his engine. Right, that makes sense. See an empty grid slot in front of you? Never mind that. See all cars in front of you driving off slowly? Turn off the engine, obviously. I might sound a bit harsh here, but you'd expect this sort of cock-up perhaps from an inattentive rookie, but not the most experienced driver on the grid!

And as if his race couldn't get any worse, when the Mercedes crew raced down the grid to push Schumacher's stricken car into the pitlane (hopefully in time for the proper start of the race), he reportedly picked up a puncture on a drain. So despite trying his very best to bugger up his race by leaving his brain at home, a healthy dose of bad luck was there to kick him when he was down. Strange, strange start to a race.

Now I have to say, it wasn't the most fascinating of races. The Hungaroring is never an easy place to overtake, but it seemed like all the position changes took place thanks to pit stops, rather than out on track. Although there was an inbetweeny moment between the Lotus drivers, when Grosjean was heading into the first corner as Raikkonen exited the pits.

This was on lap 46, and whichever Lotus driver came out in front would likely be the only challenger to the leader, Hamilton. Romain might have had his tyres up to temperature, but Kimi had the inside line. It's always stressful when two drivers you like/support/are emotionally invested in get that close to each other on track, but sensible driving from the pair of them meant that the gentle nudge merely pushed Grosjean wide and didn't cause either car any damage. I'll be honest: I would have been DELIGHTED if it was the happy giraffe scampering after Hamilton, but Kimi earned that strong second place and it was great to see both the Lotus guys on the podium - the delicious bread of a rather unsavoury sandwich. Romain was, of course, predictably miserable at having lost out on second - or possibly first - place:

Seriously. This was his face when he was explaining that he was "not such happy" and "not happy at all" with finishing third after fighting for the win for the most part of the race. Not such happy?!

Elsewhere on the circuit, Sebastian Vettel had apparently become bored of being a racing driver. Lapping behind Jenson Button, Vettel radioed his race engineer saying, "I can go much faster than him, so do something." Erm, I think the doing of things is meant to be down to you? I'm sure it was only said in the frustration of the moment, but it did cause a fair few raised eyebrows where I was watching, at F1 In Pubs. I'm not one of the people that insist Seb can't overtake, but comments like that will not help eliminate that opinion of him. Dear me, Seb and Jenson just can't seem to keep away from each other these past few races...

Cute cute cute. Gratuitous Sebson because boring race was boring. 

Aside from gratuitous, borderline-irrelevant pictures, what else is a regular feature of this blog? OH YES, defiantly defending Pastor! This week's 'victim' was Paul di Resta. In my view, this was a similar 'incident' (if you can call it that) to the Lotus drivers duelling at Turn 1. One driver had the inside line into the corner (Raikkonen and Maldonado), whilst the other was pushed wide (Grosjean and di Resta). The only difference I can see is that Pastor and Paul (that sounds like a really dire TV programme) made contact very slightly, where the Lotus cars did not. The end result in both circumstances was identical: no damage to either car and both still close together on track, with the possibility of swapping positions. And yet, poor Pastor Maldonado received a drive-through penalty for the 'collision' that barely even happened, ruining his race and any chance he had of a point or two. I know I defend him every race weekend, but sometimes I can see sense in punishing him (Valencia, for example). This week, however, I completely disagree. I've said before that I believe the main point of a penalty is to make the suffering equitable for both drivers involved. So if you give someone a puncture and carry on unhindered, you deserve a penalty to punish you in the same way that the other driver was. But Paul didn't suffer at all. He was slow at the time and was inevitably going to be overtaken by a car or two. Yes, Pastor nudged him ever so slightly during his overtaking manoeuvre, but no damage was done! I think if the stewards want to set a precedent for dishing out a penalty every time that F1 cars touch each other, despite no damage being caused, then they're going to end up awfully busy. Romain speaks sense on this sort of subject: despite being very unhappy with losing his position to Kimi, he refers to their coming together as "racing". And that's what we love! So I really hope that Pastor's 'previous' with the stewards isn't having an impact on some of their decisions, because I think, in this case certainly, a penalty was completely unnecessary.

As for the other Williams, Bruno Senna had a belter of a race! He got his race weekend off to a great start by qualifying ninth, ahead of both Mercedes, both Force Indias and even Mark Webber. Bruno was then feisty for the entire duration of the Grand Prix and finished in a great seventh place, only a couple of seconds behind Jenson Button. He might not have spent as long at the very front of the field this year as his teammate, but Bruno Senna has shown some great driving ability and delivered good, consistent finishes. I know it's Pastor that I'm usually raving about, but I really rate Bruno as well. Just as it annoys me that people seem to pick on certain drivers for bringing money to their team (erm, they all do), it infuriates me that people claim Bruno is only in F1 because of his name, and that he's 'not as good as Ayrton'. Why should he have to be compared to his uncle? You can't expect that of him. You wouldn't expect Ralf to be the same as Michael, or Nico to be the same as Keke. I think Senna's performance at the Hungarian Grand Prix has shut a few people up on that subject, so I hope to see him at the front of the grid again in the second half of the season - is a podium too much to hope for? I hope not.

Gratuitous naked time because... because Bruno Senna.

Aaaaaanyway, that's enough ranting and rambling. Having been welcomed into the Fan Formula family, I spouted even more gibberish on the Hungarian Grand Prix on YouTube, so you can see my 'Hungaroboring' video here and the neatly edited group opinions video here. I also had the huge pleasure once more of watching the GP with the delightfully mad Tiff and David at the Après bar in Birmingham, as well as plenty of other F1 fans there for F1 In Pubs. I thoroughly recommend it if you can find a venue near to you, as it is bloody brilliant.

And I think that's it from me. I hope you all enjoy/survive the F1 summer break, and of course I'll still be tweeting away despite no F1 action at @F1_Obsessive. I shall leave you with the greatest picture to emerge from this race weekend, or possibly EVER: a member of the Lotus team completely trolling and ruining the McLaren celebratory team photo.

 All the awards, Lotus. Amazing. Right, I'm off, see you in Spa!

So-So Slow Monaco

RACE TRACK: Twisting By The Pool - Dire Straits

You can pretty much tell how exciting the Grand Prix was when my Race Track ends up being based on POST-race action. And I couldn't use 'Grace Kelly' because hate-spewing newspapers would likely overreact and demand for me to be sacked from the internet. Sigh. Anyway...

Congratuwelldone, waltzing Matilda Mark Webber, for winning in Monaco, for being our sixth different winner in a crazy, mixed-up season and mainly, for successfully going FORWARDS at the start - gold star for you Mark! Surprisingly, the one trundling off the start line was actually king of bling Mr. Hamilton. This didn't have a huge detrimental effect on his race, but the knock-on effect behind him caused an upsetting natural phenomenon: a sad giraffe Romain Grosjean.

That little face just breaks my heart. So basically, a slow-starting Hamilton meant many of the cars behind him (Alonso, Massa, Schumacher and Grosjean in particular) were short of space and attempting to go four abreast into the first corner. Alas, four into one doesn't go and the giraffe for whom we had high hopes ended up sideways across the track. Most cars managed to get past unscathed, although Kamui Kobasmashi did collide slightly with the stricken Lotus, leading to this fantastic shot of Kamui being called back to his home planet:

These F1 drivers are getting a taste for flying aren't they? Kobayashi joins frequent flyers Petrov and Webber in an ever-growing group of drivers who are somewhat lacking in downforce. Unfortunately, on his way down, Kamui 'KKed' Button by landing on top of him - only the first of Jenson's problems in his truly miserable race.

Further back in the field, Maldonado put to good use the driving lessons he's recently had from Michael Schumacher, by quite severely rear-ending the HRT of Pedro de la Rosa having barely crossed the start/finish line. Am I back to being the only member of the Maldonado fan club? ...Thought so.

So overall a very disappointing start from my point of view, although it was lovely to see Felipe Massa keeping up with his teammate AND the other front four drivers from the start. As for the Grosjean incident, I can't really say any one driver was to blame - not even Hamilton (look at me, so mature) - it's just Monaco, baby. I should point out at this stage that Tiff & I had met up to watch this race together, with the Birmingham division of F1 In Pubs. Safe to say that the two of us combined were certainly a ranting, raving, fangirling force to be reckoned with. Sincere apologies to those in the same room/city/country as us when Giraffe crashed out - our screams could likely be heard from space.

On with the rest of the racing... or the lack of it. Over the years, I think we've come to realise that, although beautiful, historic, glamorous and challenging, Monaco is really not the place to see Formula 1 cars racing each other. Sure, the streets of Monte Carlo are unparalleled for testing the skill, nerve and concentration of the best drivers in the world, the chances of overtaking (and therefore, the chances of action) are very slim. The Clip The Apex overtaking database claims there were 12 overtakes in this year's Monaco GP, but I certainly didn't see that many. Most of us were nodding off halfway through the race having seen the only changes of position take place in the pits. But a few drops of rain gave us the promise of some action, bringing the front five cars (WEB, ROS, ALO, VET, HAM, with Massa not far behind in sixth) all to within each other's DRS zone.

 

Here we have all the potential for an epic 5- or 6-way fight for the win in the final 10 laps and yet... nothing happened. Nobody tried anything. Admittedly, certain driver's attempts at overtaking in Monaco last year made me seethe with anger, but I found it baffling that none of these highly competitive drivers were willing to try to overtake in the closing stages of the race. Of course it's entirely reasonable that they've got plenty to concentrate on with tyre degradation, the threat of rain and barriers hurtling towards them at 290kph, but I couldn't help but feel a little... bored by this year's race. Monaco just seems to make a habit out of teasing us with potential for great racing action, only to somehow snatch it away. Take last year: Button's clever strategy put him on much fresher tyres and gaining rapidly on the struggling Alonso and Vettel ahead. But then the ridiculous red flag rules that allow all cars to put on fresh tyres annihilated the possibility for an epic battle for the win.

But despite this, I'm not one of the mad people demanding that Monaco be removed from the F1 calendar. It might not be the best place to marvel at outstanding overtakes, but I think we can all appreciate the immense skill of any F1 driver keeping it on the road for 78 laps, let alone in the company of other cars. Let's take this moment to watch a master at work:

But back to the present. With none of the five cars behind him risking an overtake, Mark Webber became the sixth different driver (although sadly not the sixth different constructor) to win a Grand Prix in 2012. And Red Bull celebrated in Monaco the way they know best: champagne and chlorine. Martin Brundle might have managed to stay dry last year while DC and EJ took the plunge, but this time he was at the mercy of the race winner...

 

We all knew it was coming. ...Well lucky for you that might be all I have to say about this race. With so few changes of position and most of my favourite drivers retiring, I was left pretty underwhelmed. But if you haven't yet had enough of my rambling, you can always check out the excellent F1 In Pubs podcast by Paul and Manish, featuring a few words of wisdom from myself and Tiff (plus the occasional shrieking in the background) here.

Don't forget to vote in the poll on the left for who you'd most like to see be the seventh different race winner this season! Feel free to tweet me @F1_Obsessive or leave a comment below. See you the weekend after next for the Canadian Grand Prix - hopefully as eventful as last year's!